Appreciate.

Days become months

And months make years.

We go down memory lane

And cheeks flood with tears.

Happy days come and go

As do the sad.

Everyone has ‘em all –

The best, the meridian and bad.

Blinking tears away

As we look back now,

We wonder why we lost it all

What went wrong and how.

Never take anyone for granted

Or pay you will, one day.

You may have hundreds now.

But you’ll stand alone on D-day.

When Fantasies are Betrayed

She woke up at 8 A.M. sharp.

That was pretty early for a girl who was known to sleep like a log straight into the afternoons. She was used to sleeping late at night ergo; she barely had caught any sleep. Yet she wasn’t lazy or sleepy or even irritated as she normally would be on waking up so early. Today she was excited; nervously excited. She hummed to herself tunelessly as she brushed her teeth- she brushed with extra care today, eyeing each tooth in the mirror and making sure her brush reached even the areas deep inside. Finally, a good 8 minutes later [5 minutes more than her usual], she washed her mouth.

But, she wasn’t finished yet. She skimmed through the shelves and found what she was looking for. She uncorked the brand new bottle of mouth wash. [She had it for days but was always too lazy or short on time to use it.] She washed her mouth twice with it [once is generally more than enough] she replaced it in its place and showered, still humming away to herself and dancing as the warm water poured on her. She used extra shampoo, extra body wash and extra conditioner - double of everything. She came out of the bathroom half an hour later, dancing into her room. She blow dried her hair; individually drying a handful. She had tried drying each strand actually. But she realized it would take her about a year plus that it was quite impossible. Happiness and excitement can sometimes addle your brains.

Her first date with the guy she was madly in love with for 5 whole years elevated her mood to a degree that it never reached before. Once she was done with her hair, she wore her clothes; dark blue slim fit jeans and a red tee-shirt. The girl who usually yelled at everyone and no one when she couldn’t find her things, called out for her roommate in her sweetest voice. Her roomy bustled into her room to stare at her normally irritated roommate as she asked her in the same sweet tone, “Babe, I can’t find my ear rings. Can you help me look for them?” and choked out, “What.. What is the matter with you?!” The girl just giggled’ planted a kiss on her flabbergasted friend’s cheek and whispered, “I’m going on a date. With Justin.”

Her roommate’s eyes widened in shock as she heard the name. “Justin?! Justin!! Justin Stevens??? That guy you have been head over heels in love with forever?? He asked you out? Oh, my God! I can’t believe this!” She sat on her bed, wiping her forehead as the girl insanely giggled away.

“Now will you please help me find them?”, she asked her friend. “Yes, yes. Sure.” The latter said and looked around for the jewellery, mumbling away, trying to work out how this impossible event happened. “Aha! Here they are!” Jenny said after two minutes, triumphant, holding out a pair of beautiful red ear rings and Jessica slumped onto the bean bag, watching Jenny scamper around happily.

She had never seen her so happy before. She couldn’t help smiling as she saw her. It was such a great feeling to see someone you loved so cheerful. A good 45 minutes later, Jenny was ready. And there was only one word to describe her. Beautiful - breathtakingly beautiful. Even though she wore only a casual pair of jeans and a tee, she looked amazing. Well a natural beauty she was. So that was obvious, thought Jessica. Her beautiful long hair left open, a tad of mascara and a dash of lip gloss- that was all the makeup she ever used- enhanced her beauty and just completed her look.  She wore her sandals and sat on the bed, careful not to move too much for the fear of messing her hair as she so often did. She sat there waiting for his text to ask her to come down stairs as they had agreed he would. It was eleven. He should be here any time. It was a lunch date. She was already hungry. She hadn’t even had breakfast in her excitement. 

After a while, she looked at her watch. Eleven fifteen. No text yet. Eleven thirty. Nothing. He said he’d be on time.. “Guys. Never on time.” pitched in Jessica, sipping her coffee. Yeah, Jenny thought and waited for another half hour. At twelve, she got anxious and texted him. “Where are you? How much longer?” No reply. She called his cell. No answer.

Panic struck in and after a while she was hyperventilating. Where was he?! Two hours and he was still not here! She called at his place. His roommate had answered and told her he was out. She asked him if he told him where he was going. His roommate said no but casually added that he might be out with Angela- his rumoured girl friend. Jenny ended the call and stared at her phone. He had asked her out and he took Angela instead? The very thought shot an electric current in her spine. “Are you sure he was going to come babe?” Jessica asked, “Because it seems like he isn’t. Even the most unpunctual guy would be here by now.”

Jenny looked up at her. She found it too hard to believe that Justin had asked her out. But.. Justin doing this to her.. Justin.. Betraying her.. The guy she loved for so long.. The guy she spent nights dreaming of betrayed her in the last minute. Even though her heart found it impossible to believe it, her eyes did. And, they poured out. Tears of agony. Tears of betrayal. Tears of pain. How could he do this to her? Break his promise? So he had fixed a date with me but was out with that B* who was supposedly her girl friend all along. That thought sent another lightening fast current seeping into her whole body and she chucked the glass of water she was holding onto the wall. It broke into thousand pieces. She slid down onto the floor, with all kinds of depressing thoughts overwhelming her.. Why? Why did he do this to her? She was much better off admiring him from a distance. At least she wasn’t in pain when she dreamt about him.. Her mascara flowed away with the tears and she sat there on the floor, her brain and body refusing to co-ordinate.

It was 5 P.M. when she received a call. Jessica, who had been sitting next to her trying to soothe her answered it as Jenny was oblivious to everything at the moment. The call ended in less than a minute. Jessica turned to look at Jenny who looked up. “Was it him?” she asked in a barely audible, strained voice. Saying his name aloud felt like torture to her. Jessica shook her head. “It was his roommate. Justin.. Met with an accident.. While coming here to pick you up. He was admitted in the hospital.. He passed away half an hour ago..”

Jenny was betrayed indeed. But not by Justin. She was betrayed by life. . .

A Friend

No boundaries,

no walls.

No fake feelings,

none emotions false.

No secrets hidden,

no puzzles, no lies

Zilch sugar coated words;

Simply truth shining in his eyes.

Who'd never leave you alone,

Who'd never give in,

Yell at him you may,

Or give him a beating.

Who'd badger you endless

Until you shared.

who'd trade anything

to make you feel cared.

To keep your head high,

his, he'd bend.

And your pain he'd take as his own.

He, is a true friend.

The Bond of Love

I walk in the rain with my eyes fixed on the pavement. Each step I take makes water splash onto my already wet face. I barely notice it. My mind is plagued just like the kitchen sink back home that's currently being fixed. I wish there was something that could fix my mind too; that'd let thoughts enter and memories leave me like they used to.

 I can't think straight. Hell, I can't think at all.

My mind, body and senses are stuck at the same thing ever since you left me. That goodbye; that painful goodbye. You were leaving me. Leaving me alone. Leaving me and going away to a completely new place to make brand new friends. You'll find many, I know. But for me you were the only one - my only friend; my best friend. When you called me over, I thought we were going to have the best time ever. I didn't fathom that you were waiting for my arrival to inform me about your departure.

 "My family is shifting, Alice. We're moving to Texas.” You said in a low voice.

 You were barely moving your lips but I heard each and every word clearly like you were yelling at the top of your voice. I froze on the spot as I started having gooseflesh all over me. Family.. Shifting.. Moving.. Texas.. The words formed a sinister fence around me and my head started spinning too fast. For a moment, I went blank and when my vision came back, everything was a blur. I didn't realize it was due to my tears until they reached my lips and I tasted the cupric droplets. I blinked, trying to fight my tears to see your beautiful face. But my vision went blank again. My mind got hazy and my legs were still rooted to the spot. When my blurred vision returned, I saw your outline once again, standing there with your head hanging limp. I wanted to walk towards you in quick strides, hold you and to shake you. To make you confess that you're kidding. That it's all a joke. A part of me even wanted to slap you for playing such senseless pranks on me. But my legs were nailed to the floor. It felt like the walls were engulfing me, the darkness advancing on me at lightening fast speed from all sides to swallow me. . .

Something pricks my eyes. No, it isn't the dirty rain water. It’s something else. Something with a copper-like taste. My tears have broken free again. This time I do not try stopping them. They need an outlet. I let them pour out and drain my eyes. I can barely see anything in the rain either way and on the plus side, once I reach home mom won't have to know that I have been crying. No one can differentiate between my tears and the rain. Well, no one except you..

I choke as I think of your name and your images take over my mind completely. That; in a mere nanosecond. I shake my head vigorously trying to brush away the images, the thoughts and those memories.. those.. breath taking memories. I choke on my breath again and the lump in my throat tightens; it hurts. But this hurt I can take. The hurt I am being put through on the insides, I can't. Just as I near my place, I trip on something. A stone submerged in the rain. I feel sharp pain shoot through my foot into my whole body like electric current as I fall face first with a loud splash on to the clogged up road. As I get up, I realize I cut my toe and maybe sprained my hand. It hurt insanely and I can barely move my hand as I get back on my feet. I swear under my breath.

Yet, even this pain I can take. But not -- I stop dead, rooted on the spot, staring at the entrance of my house. I see your blurred outline standing on the second step to the right, clutching the grill with your left hand and staring back at me. But- But this can't happen! I had just bid you good bye and was returning home from the airport!

 "Move it girl! He's gone!” I yelled at myself between gasps that pierced my throat. The fall had surely addled my brains. I was seeing you everywhere now. Great. I could see how my days would be from now on. I’d be hallucinating and may be talking to those non-existent yous all life. Damn. I shake my head yet again, this time trying to see clearly or to the least, trying not to see things that are impossible.

I hang my head and start walking towards my house, expecting to walk straight into your image as I can still see it. More blurry but yes, there. But- I collide with something solid. Rock solid. Collide so hard that I'm almost thrown backwards. I brace myself for a second, this time brutal fall but the next thing I know, two hands throw themselves tightly around my waist and press me against the thing I banged into.

Then I realize it wasn't an illusion at all. It was you. It really was you! It IS you! My heart melts like butter on a hot pan as you shift my weight to one hand and bring the other forward. You wipe my cheek with your forefinger. You wipe not the rain drop. You wipe what only you can see.

You wipe my tear.


[Submitted as an entry in TYX's competition]

I Love You!

I, love and you. When these three words are strung together to form one sentence, the reactions followed are usually horrific. When your mom overhears you say those words to someone else on the phone, oh God save you! If your dad hears it, your phone will probably be taken away from you. If your friends hear it, you’ll be subjected to a lot of sniggering, teasing and what not.

Why? What is so wrong with saying “I love you” to someone you love? Does it HAVE TO be your ‘lover’?        

      

Sad life we live, don’t we?

There was a very expressive girl named Suzzane. She believed in voicing whatever she felt. What was in her heart was on her lips. If she loved her friends, she made sure they got to know it. For her “I love you” was a very simple way of saying what the words mean. I. Love. You. Simple as that. There were no hidden facts in those words. All was plain and simple. Of course as aforementioned already, people’s train of thought always went in the wrong direction. Some sniggered, some made fun of her and some even scowled at her. She had once written “I love you” on one of her guy friends’ Facebook Wall and all his friends nearly ate him alive for ‘hiding the truth’ from them.

Oh, did I mention she had a lot of guy friends? She easily said those words to them too – no strings attached – but people failed to realize that. When she made a new friend and suddenly said it to him when he made her happy or feel better, his first reaction would be “Whaaat?!” and then his mind would say – thankfully say – she is really expressive and she doesn’t mean it ‘that’ way. She was carefree. She didn’t bother what people said or thought. Some even called her promiscuous but she couldn’t care less. Okay they have a problem if she said those words to a guy. Leave the girls alone at least? “Gay!” would be the response most of the time. Again, sad life we live, don’t we?

“I love you!”

“All right then, bye!”

Click.

This was the response she always got from one of her closest and dearest friends, Vikas. She never complained but once in like 23 times, it pricked her. One day she decided on asking him about it.

“Hey, I need to hang up now. Mum’s calling.”

“All right! I love you!”

“Okay then, bye!”

“Hey Vikas!”

“Yeah?”

“Why do you never respond to my ‘I love you’? You don’t love me?”

Pause.

“As a friend!” she hastily added fearing he’d take the wrong meaning. “Only as a friend! You know I say that to everyone na?”

“Yes. I do. But I never said those words even to my family!”

For him, his family was the priority. He was never closer to anyone else before. 

Well, before Suzzane walked into his life and made him realize there were others outside his house worth his love.

“Why? Don’t you love your family?” she asked.

“I do.”

“Let them know then.”

“Is it necessary?”

“No, it’s not. It will just make them smile. Come on, you could do that much to make someone you love smile, couldn’t you?”

Pause.

“Not wanting to be overtly proud or seemingly arrogant but I know every time I say it to you, you smile. Don’t you think your parents deserve it too? Your sisters? And you know what the best part is? You aren’t even lying or trying too hard! You are simply voicing what you feel! Words can do magic and I know you realize that.”

Longer Pause.

“Hey! Mum’s yelling. Will talk later. Bye!” came Vikas’ reply then.

“Sure, bye!”

Suzzane also loved channeling her love through various media such as personalized gifts, surprises and a few loving texts. They were enough to cheer her friends and that is why she was adored. Same scenario came up with Vikas once. He was dull one day and was barely talking properly. She was not really okay either but her motto was “Friends First!”

She decided on cheering him up and worked towards it all day. She sent him little self-written lame but sweet little poems and texts to make him smile at least once. They couldn’t meet up because both had college to attend. So she made sure by the time he checked his phone in the evening, he had a lot of nice stuff to read and feel happy about.

[You must be wondering why he would wait to go back home to go through his text messages. Well, that was just how Vikas was. He never touched his phone when he was out. He only attended calls and hung up within 30 seconds. Weird slightly, yeah!]

He reached home in the evening and went through his text messages. 17 texts from Suz. He read each and every one of them and his smile – his gorgeous smile – only grew wider with each. He called her immediately.

“Hello?”

“HEY!”

She smiled at the enthusiastic greeting.

“Feeling better?”

“Much better! You really know how to cheer me up!”

She smiled again.

“I just know how to voice my feelings.”

“You sound low, you okay?”

“Oh, I am fine! And, I am so happy I managed to cheer you up.”

He sensed something was wrong and he could easily co-relate it to her awful pangs of loneliness. She was a happy girl to the world but somewhere inside, she felt very alone. That feeling surfaced sometimes. He knew not to ponder her further.

“You sure did! You are amazing!”

She laughed.

“I am not!”

“You are!”

“Hey, have to go! Dinner!”

“Sure!”

“Bye!”

“Hey Suz!”

“Yeah Vik?”

“I Love You.”

Her loneliness and her sense of depression were replaced by the best smile she ever smiled.

Indeed, simple words could weave magic.