The Bond of Love

I walk in the rain with my eyes fixed on the pavement. Each step I take makes water splash onto my already wet face. I barely notice it. My mind is plagued just like the kitchen sink back home that's currently being fixed. I wish there was something that could fix my mind too; that'd let thoughts enter and memories leave me like they used to.

 I can't think straight. Hell, I can't think at all.

My mind, body and senses are stuck at the same thing ever since you left me. That goodbye; that painful goodbye. You were leaving me. Leaving me alone. Leaving me and going away to a completely new place to make brand new friends. You'll find many, I know. But for me you were the only one - my only friend; my best friend. When you called me over, I thought we were going to have the best time ever. I didn't fathom that you were waiting for my arrival to inform me about your departure.

 "My family is shifting, Alice. We're moving to Texas.” You said in a low voice.

 You were barely moving your lips but I heard each and every word clearly like you were yelling at the top of your voice. I froze on the spot as I started having gooseflesh all over me. Family.. Shifting.. Moving.. Texas.. The words formed a sinister fence around me and my head started spinning too fast. For a moment, I went blank and when my vision came back, everything was a blur. I didn't realize it was due to my tears until they reached my lips and I tasted the cupric droplets. I blinked, trying to fight my tears to see your beautiful face. But my vision went blank again. My mind got hazy and my legs were still rooted to the spot. When my blurred vision returned, I saw your outline once again, standing there with your head hanging limp. I wanted to walk towards you in quick strides, hold you and to shake you. To make you confess that you're kidding. That it's all a joke. A part of me even wanted to slap you for playing such senseless pranks on me. But my legs were nailed to the floor. It felt like the walls were engulfing me, the darkness advancing on me at lightening fast speed from all sides to swallow me. . .

Something pricks my eyes. No, it isn't the dirty rain water. It’s something else. Something with a copper-like taste. My tears have broken free again. This time I do not try stopping them. They need an outlet. I let them pour out and drain my eyes. I can barely see anything in the rain either way and on the plus side, once I reach home mom won't have to know that I have been crying. No one can differentiate between my tears and the rain. Well, no one except you..

I choke as I think of your name and your images take over my mind completely. That; in a mere nanosecond. I shake my head vigorously trying to brush away the images, the thoughts and those memories.. those.. breath taking memories. I choke on my breath again and the lump in my throat tightens; it hurts. But this hurt I can take. The hurt I am being put through on the insides, I can't. Just as I near my place, I trip on something. A stone submerged in the rain. I feel sharp pain shoot through my foot into my whole body like electric current as I fall face first with a loud splash on to the clogged up road. As I get up, I realize I cut my toe and maybe sprained my hand. It hurt insanely and I can barely move my hand as I get back on my feet. I swear under my breath.

Yet, even this pain I can take. But not -- I stop dead, rooted on the spot, staring at the entrance of my house. I see your blurred outline standing on the second step to the right, clutching the grill with your left hand and staring back at me. But- But this can't happen! I had just bid you good bye and was returning home from the airport!

 "Move it girl! He's gone!” I yelled at myself between gasps that pierced my throat. The fall had surely addled my brains. I was seeing you everywhere now. Great. I could see how my days would be from now on. I’d be hallucinating and may be talking to those non-existent yous all life. Damn. I shake my head yet again, this time trying to see clearly or to the least, trying not to see things that are impossible.

I hang my head and start walking towards my house, expecting to walk straight into your image as I can still see it. More blurry but yes, there. But- I collide with something solid. Rock solid. Collide so hard that I'm almost thrown backwards. I brace myself for a second, this time brutal fall but the next thing I know, two hands throw themselves tightly around my waist and press me against the thing I banged into.

Then I realize it wasn't an illusion at all. It was you. It really was you! It IS you! My heart melts like butter on a hot pan as you shift my weight to one hand and bring the other forward. You wipe my cheek with your forefinger. You wipe not the rain drop. You wipe what only you can see.

You wipe my tear.


[Submitted as an entry in TYX's competition]

Somewhere in that Lane. . .

Somewhere in that lane,

Lives my childhood friend.

We’ve lost touch over the years

For we’ve our own lives to tend.

As I pass her lane quietly,

Happy memories flood in,

I want to visit her

But lack of time holds me in.

I carry on to my workplace

 mentally deciding to give her call.

But I get bewitched by life again

And eventually forget it all.

On a Sunday, cosy on the couch,

I skim through my friends’ list.

I stop at her phone number

But arrogance entraps me in a cyst.

She can call too,

I stonily mumble.

She has my number

AND my address, I grumble.

One fine day news reaches me,

“Your childhood friend lives no more.”

Of her chronic illness I learn

And the shock shakes my very core.

My stony heart now cries for her,

My cheeks burn with self hate.

When I could, I didn’t care

And now it’s too late.

Somewhere in that lane,

Lived my childhood friend.
Now I lay in remorseful darkness
with my ego to amend.

I Love You!

I, love and you. When these three words are strung together to form one sentence, the reactions followed are usually horrific. When your mom overhears you say those words to someone else on the phone, oh God save you! If your dad hears it, your phone will probably be taken away from you. If your friends hear it, you’ll be subjected to a lot of sniggering, teasing and what not.

Why? What is so wrong with saying “I love you” to someone you love? Does it HAVE TO be your ‘lover’?        

      

Sad life we live, don’t we?

There was a very expressive girl named Suzzane. She believed in voicing whatever she felt. What was in her heart was on her lips. If she loved her friends, she made sure they got to know it. For her “I love you” was a very simple way of saying what the words mean. I. Love. You. Simple as that. There were no hidden facts in those words. All was plain and simple. Of course as aforementioned already, people’s train of thought always went in the wrong direction. Some sniggered, some made fun of her and some even scowled at her. She had once written “I love you” on one of her guy friends’ Facebook Wall and all his friends nearly ate him alive for ‘hiding the truth’ from them.

Oh, did I mention she had a lot of guy friends? She easily said those words to them too – no strings attached – but people failed to realize that. When she made a new friend and suddenly said it to him when he made her happy or feel better, his first reaction would be “Whaaat?!” and then his mind would say – thankfully say – she is really expressive and she doesn’t mean it ‘that’ way. She was carefree. She didn’t bother what people said or thought. Some even called her promiscuous but she couldn’t care less. Okay they have a problem if she said those words to a guy. Leave the girls alone at least? “Gay!” would be the response most of the time. Again, sad life we live, don’t we?

“I love you!”

“All right then, bye!”

Click.

This was the response she always got from one of her closest and dearest friends, Vikas. She never complained but once in like 23 times, it pricked her. One day she decided on asking him about it.

“Hey, I need to hang up now. Mum’s calling.”

“All right! I love you!”

“Okay then, bye!”

“Hey Vikas!”

“Yeah?”

“Why do you never respond to my ‘I love you’? You don’t love me?”

Pause.

“As a friend!” she hastily added fearing he’d take the wrong meaning. “Only as a friend! You know I say that to everyone na?”

“Yes. I do. But I never said those words even to my family!”

For him, his family was the priority. He was never closer to anyone else before. 

Well, before Suzzane walked into his life and made him realize there were others outside his house worth his love.

“Why? Don’t you love your family?” she asked.

“I do.”

“Let them know then.”

“Is it necessary?”

“No, it’s not. It will just make them smile. Come on, you could do that much to make someone you love smile, couldn’t you?”

Pause.

“Not wanting to be overtly proud or seemingly arrogant but I know every time I say it to you, you smile. Don’t you think your parents deserve it too? Your sisters? And you know what the best part is? You aren’t even lying or trying too hard! You are simply voicing what you feel! Words can do magic and I know you realize that.”

Longer Pause.

“Hey! Mum’s yelling. Will talk later. Bye!” came Vikas’ reply then.

“Sure, bye!”

Suzzane also loved channeling her love through various media such as personalized gifts, surprises and a few loving texts. They were enough to cheer her friends and that is why she was adored. Same scenario came up with Vikas once. He was dull one day and was barely talking properly. She was not really okay either but her motto was “Friends First!”

She decided on cheering him up and worked towards it all day. She sent him little self-written lame but sweet little poems and texts to make him smile at least once. They couldn’t meet up because both had college to attend. So she made sure by the time he checked his phone in the evening, he had a lot of nice stuff to read and feel happy about.

[You must be wondering why he would wait to go back home to go through his text messages. Well, that was just how Vikas was. He never touched his phone when he was out. He only attended calls and hung up within 30 seconds. Weird slightly, yeah!]

He reached home in the evening and went through his text messages. 17 texts from Suz. He read each and every one of them and his smile – his gorgeous smile – only grew wider with each. He called her immediately.

“Hello?”

“HEY!”

She smiled at the enthusiastic greeting.

“Feeling better?”

“Much better! You really know how to cheer me up!”

She smiled again.

“I just know how to voice my feelings.”

“You sound low, you okay?”

“Oh, I am fine! And, I am so happy I managed to cheer you up.”

He sensed something was wrong and he could easily co-relate it to her awful pangs of loneliness. She was a happy girl to the world but somewhere inside, she felt very alone. That feeling surfaced sometimes. He knew not to ponder her further.

“You sure did! You are amazing!”

She laughed.

“I am not!”

“You are!”

“Hey, have to go! Dinner!”

“Sure!”

“Bye!”

“Hey Suz!”

“Yeah Vik?”

“I Love You.”

Her loneliness and her sense of depression were replaced by the best smile she ever smiled.

Indeed, simple words could weave magic.